The Truth Really Will Set You Free. But First It’s Going to F**k With You
It doesn’t seem fair, I suppose. Some people devote their lives to spiritual seeking. Others must suffer great loss or serious physical illness before they are touched by truth. Me? I got really sad. And did a hard yoga class.
I must have planted the seed and fertilized the soil, by making “brave” my theme word for the year 2014 then spending the 6 previous months being brave, doing what pushed me outside my comfort zone, whenever there was a choice to make.
Waking up is not all it is cracked up to be. Initially. there was a feeling of calm and ease, which lasted about 6 weeks. Then what I call “the crazy” started. Suddenly, everything I “knew” seemed false, ungrounded; everything, even basic scientific principles (gravity, atoms, DNA, the existence of anything, etc., etc., etc.). I felt like I fell into an abyss, though a feeling of falling would have indicated a sense of direction and velocity, which would have been more comforting than the complete dissociation I felt. This process of doubt and instability continued in waves lasting 1 to 2 weeks at a time. I would get a little clarity or comfort with whatever existential issue had just been uprooted, then a new set of “fundamentals” would come crashing down.
To make things worse, my body revolted against me, too. There was buzzing, twisting energy on my head, up and down my spine, at times over my entire body. The energy was even more intense the more physically relaxed I was, so I often managed only a few hours of sleep. I was a sleep-deprived zombie having a whopper of an existential crisis.
Dedicated spiritual seekers might have had some inkling of what was happening or would have had someone to guide them. I had unexpectedly landed in a world I knew absolutely nothing about and where I didn’t speak the language or understand any of the customs, without any preparation or guide. And, in a great irony, I knew that if I turned to the medical profession for help, I would be medicated, possibly hospitalized and forever labeled. I was wise enough to keep my mouth shut and ride through the storm.
“Crazy” lasted for months. Eventually more clarity came. Then more. Where once there were waves of doubt, now there are waves of understanding. And love. And sense of true purpose.
One year after I woke up, almost to the day, I resigned from my medical practice and embarked on this journey, to guide people to uncover and harness their innate healing potential. A radical but oh-so-needed departure from conventional medicine. This is the journey we all should take. I’m here to mark the trail.
